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Play Time: Definitely Not A Frivolous Thing
By Cathy Lumsden
Remember when you use to play dress-up in your parents old clothes or when you built a fort out of the new refrigerator cardboard box or when you paraded through your house with pots as drums and kerchiefs as hats! Memories....! Play is a very important part of our children’s development and over the years seems to have been replaced by busyness and time constraints. Higher and tougher school standards for students has also contributed to less time for play. Unfortunately, the hustle and bustle of society has also reduced adults’ time for play. All work and no play for adults contributes to burnout and unhappiness.
Play is defined by Play Education (1982) as “freely chosen, personally directed and intrinsically motivated, (behaviour) that is performed for no external goal or reward”. Researcher and play expert, Anna Ludvigsen asserts “Playing...allows children to make mistakes and learn through trial and errors, which again helps them to recognize their limitations, as well as to discover their abilities. If play becomes too safe, it is not only predictable and boring, it also limits children’s practical experiences of risk management, and hence their ability to recognize and deal with risky situations”.
Benefits of Play
Psychologists and sociologists agree that play has many benefits. It enhances social development, promotes imagination, builds cognitive skills, relieves stress and creates laughter.
Play helps children develop strong social skills as they learn to interact with their peers. They learn that they cannot always be the leader or Spider Man; they need to share these roles. Children learn how to negotiate and problem solve in their playtime. All humans have a basic need to belong and to fit into a group. Researchers have discovered that play helps children compare their behaviour with others, learn to become sensitive to others’ needs and learn self-control which contributes to their feelings of belonging and acceptance.
Stanley Greenspan, a child psychiatrist, developed the concept called ‘floor time’. It is a way to reconnect with your child through play while allowing them to be in charge. During floor time the child takes the lead and directs the adult what to do or how to act. When we engage in floor time we are tuning into their world which provides the message that they are important and valuable. Greenspan also asserts that because the child feels cared for and understood, they also learn to be empathetic and understanding of others in return.
Learning Skills Through Play
Play is a developmental process which evolves as children grow. For example, infants tend to play alone with their feet or hands and/or imitate their parents. Toddlers play beside other children and not with them. As parents we need to keep in mind that very young children cannot cognitively negotiate or understand sharing, however as they grow older and interact with others they do learn these social skills.
When children experience free play, they use their imaginations and develop their creativity. Free play is different from playing games or structured sports activities as the latter involve rules and free play does not. Children have very vivid imaginations and love fantasy which needs to be supported and encouraged by parents. Creativity is a skill that is needed throughout life whether it is in writing an essay or book, planning a party, decorating a cake or problem-solving at work. New brain research demonstrates that developing neural connections early in life helps to sustain these connections for our entire life. The more the child plays the stronger these connections become and are sustained.
Many cognitive skills are developed through play such as language development, memory, attention and problem-solving. Anthony Pellegrini, an educational psychologist at the University of Minnesota explains that when children play they use more sophisticated language when playing with other children. When they play with their parents they may use one or two words and let their parents fill in the blanks. Child development psychologist, David Elkind believes that play provides opportunities for learning and children miss out when they do not play. Dr. Elkind warns that “play has to be reframed and seen not as an opposite to work but rather as a complement. Curiosity, imagination and creativity are like muscles; if you don’t use them, you lose them”.
Managing Stresses as Children
Amazing as it is, play actually helps children reduce their stress levels. Children create fantasies in their free play of how they would like the world to be which provides a sense of control and decreases distress. Playing outside, rough and tumble play are great ways to get rid of excess anxiety and energy for children.
Did you know that children laugh 200 times a day and adults maybe laugh 10 times a day? Play is fun and laughter often goes with fun. Not only does laughter reduce stress it also emits all the “feel good” chemicals in our brains which helps with our moods and outlook on life. Kids are kids and they like to be silly and goofy. As parents sometimes we expect our children to be more serious and ‘adult-like’ before they are developmentally ready.
Perhaps, it is time we observe our children and learn how to have fun again. Children are in the moment, not the past or the future where adults tend to focus. Being present, in the moment slows life down and allows us to relax, put things into perspective and enjoy our precious children. Stress levels also reduce for all members of the family. Children can be our best teachers in seeing the magic and living fully in their experience. Joining them in play creates an understanding of their world as well as their perceptions of themselves and others. It can change our perspectives and priorities as we value their learning through play and increase our playfulness as adults.
References:
- Anthony Pellegrini, Play in Evolution and Development, Developmental Review, June 2007.
- Anna Ludvigsen, Let’s Play Together: Play and Inclusion, 2005.
- Stanley Greenspan, Playground Politics: Understanding the Emotional Life of Your School-Age Child, 1993.
Cathy Lumsden is an associate at the Adlerian Counselling and Consulting Group Inc. She has 24 years experience in counselling individuals, families and groups. She has facilitated training programs and professional seminars focused on conflict resolution, team effectiveness, communication and stress management in both Canada and the United States.
Psychotherapy / Counselling: Individual Counselling, Couple / Marriage Counselling,
Family / Parent Counselling, Children / Teens Counselling | Consulting: Training, Keynote
Addresses, Executive / Leadership Coaching, Customized Workshops and Conferences
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