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Change - Challenges and Choices
By Marion Balla
What is your first reaction when you hear the word “change”? Do you feel excited? fearful? tired? optimistic? or maybe overwhelmed? Change is a constant reality in our lives and requires adaptation and flexibility on a daily basis. Our bodies, thoughts, feelings and energy are changing from moment to moment and we can either cope with ease or difficulty. We can either resist or embrace change or a mixture of both.
Adapting to Change
Have your ever looked back at a change which you assumed was totally negative and realized it had taught you an important lesson as well as ensured that something positive happened following the change.
There are two sides to every change - loss and gain. Frequently the losses appear bigger than the gains which create fear and discomfort. Change often creates a sense of danger/threat but also has opportunity on the flip side if you are open to view the whole picture. It is important to face the changes and grieve the losses while moving towards the gains.
Change is a process not an outcome. As adults, it is important to model positive coping strategies when facing changes. Children watch us to gain understanding of the world and to know how to approach life. If they see fear, resistance and negativism in our responses, they may assume change is bad and should be avoided. This does not give them the life skills needed to live in these changing times.
You will find adapting to change more difficult if
- you already feel overloaded,
- you are in conflict,
- you are unclear about the change,
- you have no sense of control or are not allowed input,
- you are focused in the past or future time zones,
- you are physically unwell or overtired.
You will find adapting to change easier if
- you provide feedback,
- you take personal risks,
- you trust others,
- you engage in problem solving,
- you support others and their ideas,
- you are open to possibilities,
- you respect individuality while encouraging teamwork,
- you focus in the present time zone, e.g. What can I do today?
- you create self care each day,
- you monitor your energy level and sleeping patterns,
- you reduce ‘worry’ and ‘shoulds,’ appreciating you are doing your very vest in the situation.
Personal Styles
In my experience, people tend to respond to change from 3 different styles - the Resisters, the Teeter Totterers and the Change Agents.
The Resisters bring history and experience from the past and ask why? what? when? where? and point out previous errors. They slow down the change process and create stress for others. They caution others to learn from the past and not repeat mistakes.
The Teeter Totterers move indecisively with change gathering data and feedback and altering their opinions dependent upon information offered. They live in the present and attempt to make sense out of the present reality. They may bridge the gap between the Resisters and Change Agents in a group.
The Change Agents offer the visions, excitement and opportunities related to change. They can’t wait to move forward and are future focused and impatient waiting for everyone to grasp the vision and embrace the opportunities. They may judge others as not helpful to the change process.
All three styles are necessary to the process of change. We require the past reflections, the present reality and the future perspective. All need to respect the value of each other and work together in the present time zone to manage change.
Each of you may take on different responses to change dependent upon the circumstances. In your workplace, you may be a Change Agent; in your family, you may be Teeter Totterer; in your church group, you may be a Resister. You do not have only one style nor only one strategy to move towards change.
Change is not your enemy. It is a challenge and a choice. Sometimes the only influence one has is choosing our attitude to the situation.
Try out a few new approaches to life changes and appreciate yourself for the constantly creative and amazing human being you are. Life is a gift! Embrace your life knowing that challenges, changes, and choices are our frequent reality. Self care is essential in times of major change, i.e., sleep, laughter, healthy food and drink, expressing fears and anxiety and then letting them go, trusting in your abilities to handle difficult people and situations as you have done many times before.
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Marion Balla is the President of the Adlerian Counselling and Consulting Group, Inc. where she offers individual, couple and family counselling to the community. Further she facilitates workshops, courses and seminars focused on constructive approaches to human relationships in the family, workplace and community.
Psychotherapy / Counselling: Individual Counselling, Couple / Marriage Counselling,
Family / Parent Counselling, Children / Teens Counselling | Consulting: Training, Keynote
Addresses, Executive / Leadership Coaching, Customized Workshops and Conferences
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